Coping with the loss of a miscarriage is the most challenging phase in a woman's life. During pregnancy, many hormones are released. These hormones play a role in making the mother and unborn child a strong bond. The most known hormon
e is oxytocin, also known as a bonding hormone. So it is impossible for mothers not to develop a strong connection and love with their unborn children.
"When a mother went through a miscarriage, it is as she lost a beloved living being. The people around the pregnant women may not see the unborn child as a complete human being, but for mothers, they are."
It takes time for mothers to get out of post-traumatic stress. If you see any such women who have gone through the same, here are some of the things you can do to help them in any way possible.
A mother mourning her miscarried baby
Acknowledge Miscarriage As A Loss
The foremost thing you all have to consider and accept is miscarriage as a loss. I know I may seem rude by saying some people do not consider it a loss. But believe me, it's true. Many people think that there is no loss if you have not given birth to a child. But they do not know what a mother went through in bringing a child into this world. She has given her time, emotions, care, and love to that unborn child so much. The bond pregnant women have developed with their unborn children is unseen by the people around them. It is a personal feeling so is the loss. So if you come in contact with any woman who has a miscarriage in their life, acknowledge their loss first.
Do Not Blame Mother For The Loss
The worst thing one can do to a mother who experienced pregnancy is to blame her for the loss. Sometimes mothers blame themselves for the loss. They use it as a coping mechanism to get their emotions out of themselves. So if the people around them begin to do the same, the mothers' unrealized fears start becoming their reality. They first used as a coping mechanism now became a haunting truth. Mothers begin to accept themselves as misdoers. So never blame the mother for the loss of a child. It is the most significant loss for herself in the first place. Anybody around her, even the fathers, can not go through what the mother went through after losing her child during pregnancy. Being empathetic and considerate around the woman who just has had a miscarriage is the most important thing you can do.
Let Them Have Their Time To Come Out Of The Trauma
Dealing with any post-traumatic stress is not easy and very much demanding.
"Think about the mother who just lost the hope of seeing her child alive, who she was waiting desperately to see. All her time and emotions she invested in her child went in vain."
The hope her life was revolving around now is not there. How can she start thinking about her life without seeing her lost child in it? Getting out of all of this needs time. Such women should be given the space they asked for to help them get out of the trauma. According to a report, miscarriage traumas cause mothers to go through depression and anxiety for a year or more. So the only thing that can heal their pain is time.
Share Your Experience Of Any Loss With Them
Leaving a person who just lost their beloved one is not an intelligent move. Talk to mothers who went through the loss of their child during pregnancy. Please share your experience of loss with them without belittling their loss. To make such mothers comfortable with you, you have to tell them something very personal to you. This way, they will get the courage to talk about their loss with you.
"Sharing feelings and thoughts of losses or anything are always give and take."
Support Them Practically And Financially
Post-traumatic losses make one unable to continue their routine life for a while. Trauma releases hormones that make the body weary, exhausted, and in pain. You can help such mothers by assisting them in completing their daily home chores.
Also, do not forget to help them financially. Such mothers are not in a position to make their finances come. So by helping them financially, you can make them sure about your presence in their life.
Verdict
To deal with the loss of a child is not easy for mothers, but it can be less demanding of people around them to show support and empathy. Empathetic behavior and physical and emotional support will not bring their child back, but it will help mothers return to normal life.
So if you know any mother around you who went through the same trauma, become their biggest support system by providing them with whatever they need. I hope this piece of writing will help you in helping such mothers. If you or your beloved one go through such an experience (extremely sorry for that), share how you help them deal with it in the comments.
Happy Parenting,
Cheers!
